Ego, sweet ego. There’s nothing like giving yourself a pat on the back. Well deserved or not. We all need a little stroke, from time to time. A little bracing up. A peck on the cheek. Just a small chuck under the chin. Sure.
So I found me a swell way to pull it off, a sure-fire method to give yourself a nod. All you need is a little self-quotation. Beat ’em to the punch, I say. Don’t stand in line. Don’t wait. What better way to acknowledge yourself than by quoting yourself? If you can’t appropriate your own stuff, what’s the point? Am I right, or am I right?
So I drummed up my little “Hard-Boiled Thought Day” and began posting them, every so often, on one of those social networks. There they are, in all their glory, little quips straight out of my fiction series. I’ve posted a bunch over the last month or two. Seemed like it was high time to present them as a set.
- It’s bad business to plug your client. Sometimes my line of work calls for it.
- Homo sapien is the only animal that, after making love, smokes a cigarette.
- He’ll never get lost going out of his way.
- Never trust a dame, even when she’s on all fours. Especially when she’s on all fours.
- Sykes needed that dream, sure. Sykes needed it like a thermometer needs the fever.
- “You’re becoming impertinent, again.”
“That one was on the house, Mrs. Leblanc. “
- The place stank like all gyms. That heavy air hits you first, the thick perfume of cheap labor.
- She used more foundation than a Chinese fortress.
- “Hmmm. Now we are in dangerous waters.”
“Yeah, and me with my lifejacket at the dry cleaners.”
- “If you’d care to wait? I could offer you a Frango Mint.”
“No thanks, sister. They make my nose bleed.”
- Chardonnay? Whiskey? I thought you’d of requested a shot of hemlock.
- I figured I must of have been his last hope–I didn’t care much for the idea.
- Don’t get me wrong. I adore these little sessions of ours. About as much as I adore a tooth extraction.
- So there she was: attractive, well fixed, with something to hide. You could say she interested me immediately.
- “My life!” That little voice became loud. Damn shrill, too. “My life is in danger!”
“That’s what you come stumbling in here at this hour to tell me?”
“My life was not in danger earlier.”
- “I know what you’re thinking.”
“Then you’re one up on me, sister.”
- If that’s how he croons sober, I’d hate to hear him drunk.
- His movement conjured up the grace of a concrete butterfly.
- “Perfect,” I said. “You’ve got the timing of bad melodrama .”
- I passed the gunman as I approached the restaurant patio. Dead as prohibition.
- He barked all kinds of advice at me, most of it as useful as a casket with a vanity mirror.